Asking for Help - The Fastest Way to Learn

 ‘Rinku, where’s Rahul?’ asked Rakesh. ‘Haven’t seen him for a while now.’

‘He couldn’t follow up on your advice of last week bhaiyya,’ said Rinku.  ‘He’s avoiding you.’

‘But why?’ said Rakesh.

‘Shy to ask again, I guess,’ said Rinku. ‘It happens to all of us bhaiyya. Even in class we’re scared to ask again. Rahul thought he understood what you said but when he tried to practice it, he got stuck.’

‘Let’s call him,’ smiled Rakesh.

Rahul arrived shortly, looking sheepish. ‘Sorry bhaiyya, haven’t been able to follow your advice. I’ve nothing to report.’

‘Rahul, that’s exactly when you need to meet me instead of avoiding me,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘It’s not a mistake to not learn the first time or second time. Our biggest mistake is not asking for help when we’re stuck and thereby not completing the learning process. Learning something new is always difficult. You cannot become perfect overnight. Next time you feel stuck; quickly approach your teachers, elders for support and guidance.’

‘I thought you’d be angry bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I thought I’d come to you after successfully completing it.’

‘Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘You need help when you are struggling and in doubt so you don’t give up or learn the wrong things. All good teachers, mentors know they have to be patient and supportive until you learn and are confident. But even if your teacher is impatient, it’s still your job to complete your learning in your own best interests. A good teacher can solve the most difficult problems in minutes; can make what appears difficult, easy.’

‘But bhaiyya,’ asked Rinku. ‘Won’t asking for help often make us dependent?’

‘Good question,’ said Rakesh. ‘You’ll become dependent only if you ask for help without trying out what was discussed. Without trying to learn. Give it a good try first. Then, share your problem areas. Your teacher can show you what you’re doing right and how to avoid any potential pitfalls. But, if at that stage you don’t ask, all that you’ve learned till then goes waste. As a student your only job is to learn. Remember that.’

‘It’s ok to ask many times then?’ asked Rahul.

‘Yes Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘Asking for help or advice is the best thing for your growth in many ways. First, it hones your learning mindset. Second, it keeps the biggest barrier to learning, your ego, in check. Being shy or feeling ashamed are also forms of ego. So, set your ego aside and practice asking for help –personal, professional or academic – from a good mentor. You’ll be surprised at how many people help when you ask. How there’s a solution for everything if you look for it.’

‘Thanks bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I feel much lighter now. I’ll practice asking for help.’

‘Great! Ask chotu for chai then,’ said Rinku.

Pro challenge: When you’re stuck, ask for help. That’s the fastest way to learn. There’s no shame in asking, in learning.

 

Exercise: Pick one area you need help in. Share aloud and ask for help in class. Share your experience.

 

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