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Showing posts from June, 2021

Double Your Energy, Double Your Happiness

‘My lecturer says we need more energy in our class,’ said Rahul.  ‘But he didn’t say how.’ ‘I’ve heard of high and low energy too,’ said Rinku. ‘What does it mean bhaiyya?’ ‘We all possess a tremendous amount of energy within us,’ said Rakesh. ‘But we don’t access it, use it. We’re scared of our own potential perhaps. But clearly, the higher our energy, the better it is for us.’   ‘Why bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku. ‘High energy attracts high energy stuff - people, money, opportunities, happiness,’ said Rakesh. ‘We’re naturally attracted to people, places or things with high energy because they raise our energy and make us feel good. To raise the quality of your life, raise your energy.’ ‘But how bhaiyya?’ said Rahul. ‘I don’t feel very energetic.’ ‘With some practice,’ smiled Rakesh. ‘Your energy’s within you, so don’t wait for others or external things to turn it on for you. Do it yourself. Like performers who’re always high-energy, set a context that raises your energy and enthu

Your Self-Worth Is Your Gateway

Your Self-Worth Is Your Gateway ‘My aunt wants me to bake a cake and charge her for it,’ said Rinku. ‘I love baking but I’m feeling very uncomfortable about charging her.’ ‘Watch out,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘You’ll end up with low self-worth if you don’t value yourself.’ ‘How bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Giving free stuff is good no?’ ‘Self-worth is what you think you’re worth,’ said Rakesh. ‘When you don’t think you’re worth much, you treat yourselves poorly. You’re like a seller who doesn’t value his product - others won’t value it either. But if you know your worth and quote the right value, others value it too. To charge or not is your choice, but if you’re not charging because you feel unworthy, then you’re in trouble.’ ‘Does this low self-worth affect us bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.   ‘Your self-worth is your gateway Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘It determines all that you get in your life. A low self-worth has a small gateway - it restricts your capacity to receive and hold things - love, ma

Your Self-Esteem Can Make or Break You

  ‘Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘We discussed self-confidence last week, but what’s self-esteem?’ ‘They’re the same no?’ said Rahul. ‘There’s a difference,’ said Rakesh. ‘Self-confidence is your belief in your abilities. Whereas self-esteem is how you regard yourself, your rating of yourself. Interestingly, it has nothing to do with your ability.’ ‘You mean we could have all the ability and still rate ourselves lowly?’ said Rahul. ‘Yes,’ said Rakesh. ‘That’s why self-esteem can make or break us. An unhealthy self-esteem leads to under-utilisation of our potential while a healthy self-esteem can make us feel deserving and worthy, leading to fulfillment of our potential.’ ‘What’s unhealthy self-esteem bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Low self-esteem makes people feel less than, inadequate,’ said Rakesh. ‘Their sense of self depends on others, who they’re eager to please, making them easy targets to manipulate. They are overly sensitive to criticism and afraid of making mistakes, leading to ina

Self-Confidence is a Skill

 ‘I made a presentation today,’ said Rahul. ‘Everyone told me to be more confident.’ ‘I have an interview coming up and I’m short of confidence too,’ said Rinku.   ‘Not to worry,’ said Rakesh. ‘Confidence or self-confidence is having confidence in our abilities to handle whatever comes up. Most times we feel we don’t know enough or we’re not good enough. The gap between others expectations and our ability to meet those expectations shrinks us. Be it an interview, presentation, voicing opinions, social skills etc we feel we can’t meet those expectations. What most don’t realise is that self-confidence is a skill. It can be improved with practice.’ ‘Really?’ said Rahul.   ‘How?’ ‘The building blocks for self-confidence are our thoughts, words and actions,’ said Rakesh. ‘Since the biggest confidence-breakers are negative thoughts and negative self-talk stop them now. If possible, replace them with positive thoughts and words. Stay focused on the best outcomes we want. That’s a hug

Toxic Positivity

  ‘I’ve had a strange experience today,’ said Rinku. ‘Krishna and I talked to his aunt about how we were feeling about the pandemic hoping it would help. We ended up feeling worse.’ ‘Why?’ asked Rahul. ‘Was she very negative?’ ‘No,’ said Rinku. ‘In fact she was too positive. Every time we tried to express our feelings she’d butt in with ‘it’s going to be alright’, ‘you’ll be fine’, ‘don’t feel like that’, ‘be happy’ etc. I felt I was doing something wrong by not feeling positive.’ ‘Ah you’ve been a victim of toxic positivity,’ smiled Rakesh.   ‘Whoa, what’s that bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Toxic positivity is when people try to ignore or minimize real and difficult feelings with a false front of positivity,’ said Rakesh. ‘Whatever happens, be positive they say. It makes you feel like something’s wrong with you.’ ‘But isn’t positivity good bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Not if it makes you feel worse,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘These are difficult times and we all feel anxious, lonely and fearful a

Duty is the ‘What’, Responsibility is the ‘How’

 ‘People are so irresponsible,’ complained Rinku. ‘No masks, no distancing.’ ‘My father says it’s our duty as citizens to follow guidelines,’ said Rahul. ‘I’m confused –   what exactly is my duty and what am I responsible for?’ ‘Let’s see,’ said Rakesh. ‘Duty is a commitment, moral or legal - job, family, team, society, nation etc. Simply put, duty demands that we work in the best interest of the team we‘re part of. For example, your duty as students is to follow rules and bring glory to the college. You’re obliged to fulfill your duties and if you don’t, you could be penalized.’ ‘And responsibility?’ asked Rahul. ‘Responsibility is how we undertake our duty,’ said Rakesh. ‘Responsibility, they say, is our ability to respond correctly. For instance, you could undertake complete responsibility for a college program even though you are only entrusted with a small part of the overall duties - by bringing great energy, completing your tasks well and helping others. Greater the resp

Handling Fear

‘I feel this heaviness in me these days,’said Rinku. ‘Don’t feel like doing anything.’ ‘We all feel it Rinku,’’ said Rakesh.’It’s fear. We hear about the COVID situation outside and don’t know how to cope with it. It paralyses us.’ ‘But we’re staying home safe no?’ said Rahul. ‘Why this heaviness then?’ ‘There are three Levels of fear,’said Rakesh. ‘This isLevel 3 fear, where we feel we cannot handle things and that makes us feel heavy and paralysed. We imagine the worst and feel incapable and helpless about it.’ ‘How to deal with it bhaiyya?’asked Rinku.  ‘First, stop terrorising yourself by imagining extreme situations,’ said Rakesh. ‘Secondly, trust your capabilities to handle whatever comes up. Take it as it comes, and at each stage trust your capabilities to handle it. Don’t worry about situations that haven’t arrived yet. Like they say, worrying is like wishing for things you don’t want.’ ‘But how to stop worrying bhaiyya?’asked Rinku. ‘We hear so many dreadful stories around us.

Saying No is good for you

 ‘Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘Sunil wants to come home. I’m not comfortable in these COVID times.’ ‘Say No then,’ said Rinku. ‘But he’ll get offended,’ said Rahul. ‘How bhaiyya?’ ‘Let’s first understand why it’s difficult to say No,’ said Rakesh. ‘We’re scared of offending, hurting and losing our equation with others - even if it costs us. It’s a measure of how much we value ourselves and how clear we are about what’s important to us. For clarity, ask yourself this question before saying Yes or No – am I doing this to please others or for my good?’ ‘Won’t that be seen as being selfish bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘Taking care of ourselves and conserving our time and energy for our priorities is not being selfish, its self-care,’ said Rakesh. ‘If others expect you to give up your priorities for them, they’re being unreasonable.’ ‘But bhaiyya, we’ll lose people who’re important to us by offending them no?’ asked Rinku. ‘If someone gets offended because we said No to honour our priorities

Confusing Pride with Ego

  ‘Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘Akanksha’s paintings are really good na?’ ‘Yes,’ said Rahul. ‘But she’s full of herself.   Not sure if it’s pride in her work or ego.’ ‘I get confused too,’ said Rinku. ‘Sometimes when I do good work I hold myself back from appreciating myself thinking I should not be proud because it leads to a swollen head, pride comes before a fall etc etc. Should we take pride in our work or not bhaiyya?’ ‘Let’s first differentiate between healthy pride and unhealthy ego,’ said Rakesh. ‘Taking pride in ourselves or our work simply means we’re proud of what we are and what we have achieved and are still open to learn and grow. It indicates a respectful relationship with ourselves and our work where we express satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment for having done our best. It’s a realistic acknowledgement and celebration of us, our capabilities and achievements.’   ‘Hmm, and how’s ego different bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Ego is an insecure reaction that makes us fe

Don’t be Passive or Aggressive, Be Assertive

 ‘Rinku, you should be more aggressive in class discussions yaar,’ said Rahul. ‘Parul completely dominates you. You’re too passive.’ ‘I’m not passive,’ said Rinku. ‘I’m being respectful. I just don’t want to upset others bro.’ ‘But Rinku, your viewpoint’s important too,’ asked Rakesh. ‘By not expressing your views fearing others reactions, you’re undervaluing, disrespecting and hurting yourself. Being passive is no good to you or to others.’ ‘Better than disrespecting others na bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Parul doesn’t care about hurting others feelings or overriding their opinions loudly and intimidatingly. All she wants is to control the space fully at any cost. I don’t want to be like that.’ ‘That’s the only way to deal with people Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘Otherwise they will walk all over you.’ ‘No Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘Both aggressive and passive behaviors are insecure behaviors and are harmful. You cannot arrive at the best outcomes because such behaviors do not enable an equal

How Our Values Help

‘Rahul’s devastated bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘He saw his favorite uncle who preaches honesty and integrity paying a bribe.’  ‘I’m totally disillusioned,’ said Rahul. ‘For us it is ‘honesty is the best policy’, ‘love all,’ ‘united we stand’, ‘respect elders’ etc but they don’t seem to apply for those preaching us.’ ‘Ah,’ said Rakesh. ‘What should ‘you’ practice is the question. Honesty, kindness, respect, love etc are aspirational values for us to live up to, lofty examples to follow and become better people.’ ‘But why follow these values when others aren’t?’ asked Rinku. ‘Our values are our personal choice Rinku, not a rule,’ said Rakesh. ‘Remember, your values are what you value most. Don’t adopt them because someone told you to. Own them because you believe in them.’ ‘So I can have my own values?’ asked Rahul. ‘How?’ ‘By defining, calibrating and choosing your own value system,’ said Rakesh. ‘The clearer we are about what our values mean to us, the easier it is to practice the

Laziness vs Procrastination

‘Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘The deadline for submitting Priyanka maam’s assignment is almost over. Why haven’t you started on it?’ ‘’I’ll start today Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘Why are you so lazy?’ said Rinku. ‘Bhaiyya is there a cure for laziness?’ ‘I don’t know about curing laziness,’ said Rakesh. ‘But I do know that Rahul’s not lazy. In fact he’s very busy and active - doing odd jobs, workouts, on social media. He’s not lazy for sure. But yes, he’s putting off doing his assignment, which is procrastination.’   ‘What’s the difference bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Laziness is a personal attribute, of not doing an activity because you’re not inclined to, whatever the cost,’ said Rakesh. ‘Whereas, in procrastination we postpone important jobs and get busy doing less important, seemingly urgent jobs. Though we finally end up doing the important work, like your assignment, by doing it at the last minute, we do it less efficiently and at greater cost.’ ‘But why do we do that?’ asked Rinku. ‘One

Create and Celebrate Small Wins

‘Bhaiyya, I tried building new habits to improve my health and fitness routines but I’m not satisfied,’ said Rahul. ‘Any tips to make these habits stick?’   ‘Of course, author James Clear gave several,’ said Rakesh. ‘Remember the key principle - we repeat behaviors that have satisfying consequences and avoid behaviors that have unpleasant consequences.’ ‘So, to build a new habit into a routine, we need satisfying consequences for the new behaviors,’ laughed Rinku. ‘Yes,’ smiled Rakesh. ‘But first, get the behaviors going. For starters, rearrange your environment. Our behaviors are guided by our vision; so make what’s related to your new habit clearly visible and within easy reach so you can start ‘doing’ easily. One use, one place. Make what distracts you invisible.’ ‘Ok,’ said Rahul.   ‘So I put my tracksuit, shoes, water bottle etc in sight and easy reach if I want to exercise, right?’ ‘And keep my phone on silent and away from my study table to avoid distractions while stu

Small and Consistent Steps Lead to Big Results

 ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I’ve been trying to top the class for a while now. But however hard I try I am not making any progress.’ 'True,’ said Rinku. ‘Why can’t we get big results through smaller and more efficient efforts? Why is change so big and difficult? Isn’t there an easier way?’ ‘You can,’ said Rakesh. ‘Ín fact, all big things are a result of tiny changes, made consistently. In his book ‘Atomic Habits’ author James Clear explains how a simple 1% change daily can lead to unbelievable results.’ ‘Just a 1% change?’ asked Rinku. ‘How?’ ‘Look at this example to understand how it works,’ said Rakesh. ‘The British cycling team didn’t win a single major title since 1908. In 2003, Dave Brailsford took over and introduced the idea of ‘aggregation of marginal gains’ wherein they broke down every aspect related to riding a bike and improved each by 1%. Seats, grips, fabric, massage gels, hand washing methods, pillows, mattresses - all things directly and indirectly affecting th

Don’t Fall for Twaddle Tendencies

‘Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘I didn’t understand what our new lecturer was trying to tell us today. Did you?’ ‘Not really,’ said Rinku. ‘But it was fascinatingly complex. Very intelligent. I want to spend more time and understand what he said.’ ‘I can’t believe that he spoke so much in those two hours and I still didn’t get what he was trying to say,’ said Rahul. ‘I feel like a fool.’ ‘Don’t be harsh on yourself Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘You could be the victim of Twaddle Tendency – the tendency to use too many words that convey nothing. In such cases, the speaker or writer uses many words or abstract ideas to hide their lack of clarity, or to present undeveloped thoughts. Simply put, a lot of gas.’ ‘But bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘He’s our lecturer. How can you say that?’ ‘Twaddle Tendency becomes more dangerous when authority figures are involved,’ said Rakesh. ‘Since we take them seriously, we don’t question them and assume there’s some deeper meaning. The bottom line is this - if a person cann

Two Minutes Can Change Your Life!

 ‘Rahul, have you been slacking off your exercise routine?’ asked Rinku. ‘It’s showing dude.’ ‘Arre don’t remind me Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘It’s so difficult to keep it going despite my best intentions. I get up, snooze for five minutes and then never get going. After missing a few days, I stopped.’ ‘Same here man,’ said Rinku. ‘I planned to study for two hours every day but I just can’t seem to sustain it. I don’t know how to change it. I feel like such a loser.’ ‘I have a technique that can change it all,’ said Rakesh. ‘It’s a superb idea called the 2-minute rule that I found on James Clear’s blog. Haven’t missed a day of writing since.’ ‘Wow,’ said Rinku. ‘What’s it about bhaiyya?’ ‘The 2-minute rule says that any activity should not be for more than two minutes,’ said Rakesh. ‘Just two minutes. Breakdown your big activity into a 2-minute version and get going right away. Rahul, put on your workout gear and get started – a couple of pushups or crunches – for two minutes. And

Beware Our Unconscious Biases

  ‘Happy Women’s Day Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘Thanks Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘Good to see you support and celebrate gender equality.’ ‘But why this special focus?’ wondered Rahul. ‘Women do everything that men do now. Where’s the gender bias?’ ‘Ok, answer this popular riddle,’ said Rakesh. ‘A father and a son are involved in a car crash. The father dies. The son’s taken to the hospital in critical condition. On the operating table the surgeon says ‘I can’t operate. He’s my son.’ How’s it possible?’ ‘The man who died is not the real father,’ said Rahul. ‘Or the boy’s mother had him from an earlier relationship.’ ‘Maybe the surgeon was mistaken,’ said Rinku. ‘Wrong,’ said Rakesh. ‘The surgeon was the mother.’ ‘OMG,’ said Rahul and Rinku. ‘Don’t worry, most people get it wrong,’ said Rakesh. ‘Thanks to unconscious biases we all pick up in our childhood. These implicit biases influence our decisions unconsciously - like assuming that women are good only for certain jobs. Women suff

Is Being Ambitious Bad?

 ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘Venkat’s super ambitious. He wants to be the richest man in India, richer than his richy rich father.’ ‘I don’t understand bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Shouldn’t we be happy with what we have? Why this greed for more?’ ‘What’s wrong with Venkat wanting more?’ asked Rakesh. ‘Being happy with what we have is good. But if he can use his energy and intelligence to create greater value for greater good, why not? Why be happy with a mud hut when we can build a palace of great beauty?’ ‘But won’t we become greedy if we think like that?’ asked Rinku. ‘You’re confusing ambition with greed,’ said Rakesh. ‘Ambition is a strong desire to achieve something great, something bigger and beyond yourself. Greed is a selfish desire to want whatever’s available only for yourself, at others cost. One is creative, the other destructive.’ ‘How bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘See, Venkat can achieve his ambition of being rich by building a product or a company that benefits millions, cr

Decision Making Drains You – Wait till You’re Fresh, Clear and Aware!

 ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘Rinku and I went shopping at the mall. There were so many shops and so much choice that I couldn’t decide. I returned dazed and empty handed.’ ‘I bought some stuff bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘But I’m not happy. I’m not sure if I bought the right stuff. I thought I’d be happier with more choice. But no.’ ‘Ha,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘You’ve suffered from decision paralysis Rahul. And Rinku, you experienced the paradox of choice. You see, we have a limited amount of energy when it comes to decision-making. Choosing from large selections overwhelms us and we cannot decide. I’ve read about a study in which customers were asked to choose from a selection of six varieties of jelly and a selection of twenty four varieties of jelly. Guess what? Customers bought ten times more jelly from the six-variety selection than the twenty four varieties one. And even if we buy from large selections, as Rinku did, with so much choice available, we may never be fully satisfied with our dec

Real and Superfluous Knowledge - The Difference

 ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Rahul believes every single forwarded message he gets and forms his opinions and decisions based on that.’ ‘But how do I know what’s real and what’s not?’ said Rahul. ‘They look equally believable.’   ‘True,’ said Rakesh. ‘But as adults we should discern between what’s real and what’s not to make the right decisions. Real knowledge comes from experts who have put in a large amount of time and effort in understanding a subject thoroughly. Superfluous knowledge comes from piecing random data with no basis or depth.’ ‘But we can still get fooled by superfluous knowledge right?’ asked Rahul. ‘How do we know?’ ‘True,’ said Rakesh. ‘Can you differentiate between your Professor who has studied and taught a subject for decades, and someone who has merely listened to his lectures for a year and has started teaching?’ ‘Yes,’ said Rinku. ‘Our Professor would have depth. He’d encourage questions, answer them, make us look deeper. He’d focus on improving our under

Because – It Helps

 ‘Bhaiyya, Rahul’s in trouble,’ said Rinku. ‘Our Hindi lecturer told him to prepare her presentation. Rahul said he can’t. Now she’s upset.’ ‘Yes bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I’ve work to do. Why’s she forcing her work on us? I’d rather not be in her good books than do her work like Rinku did. Rinku was up all night preparing that presentation as she didn’t want to offend our lecturer.’ ‘Interesting situation,’ said Rakesh. ‘And one we face often. Let’s do a role play and see if we can get out of this situation without upsetting your lecturer. Rinku, ask me to prepare that presentation.’ ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Can you make my presentation?’ ‘No,’ said Rakesh bluntly. Rinku was taken aback. Rakesh and Rahul laughed. ‘You got offended didn’t you?’ said Rakesh. ‘And you’ll hold that against me. Ok, ask again.’ ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Can you make my presentation?’ ‘Sorry Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘I can’t because I’m busy. Now?’ ‘Much better,’ said Rinku. ‘I feel you’ve got a reas

Being Content vs Being Complacent

 ‘Rahul,’ said Rinku on the Zoom call. ‘Why’re you being so chilled about exams? You’re hardly putting in any effort?’ ‘Ah,’ said Rahul. ‘That’s because I found the secret to happiness.’ ‘What’s it?’ asked Rinku. ‘Contentment my dear,’ said Rahul. ‘Be happy with whatever we get.’ ‘What?’ said Rinku. ‘You’re capable of more. With a little effort you can earn better results Rahul. That’ll make you even more content.’ ‘But why more?’ said Rahul ‘When whatever I get is enough.’ ‘Rakesh bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘There’s something warped about this logic. I’m aware that contentment is good but I get the feeling that Rahul is using ‘contentment’ to not work harder.’ ‘That’s a subtle yet important difference you pointed out Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘On one hand, we can fool ourselves that we’re content and stop working towards fulfilling our potential. On the other hand, we could work ourselves to death, and never be content, peaceful or happy. What’s the balance?’ ‘Yes bhaiyya,’ said

The New Phone Won’t Make You Happy for Long

  ‘Rinku,’ said Rahul on their Zoom call. ‘Check out my brand new phone.’ ‘Wow,’ said Rinku. ‘But your old phone was good too. Why this expensive one dude?’ ‘Because,’   smiled Rahul, taking a selfie. ‘It makes me happy.’ ‘Interesting,’ said Rakesh. ‘Tell me, what do you think would really make you two happy?’ ‘A world tour,’ said Rahul. ‘A Lamborghini, being the richest man on earth…’ ‘A laptop,’ said Rinku. ‘Big house, fat bank balance...’ ‘Nice,’ said Rakesh. ‘According to a concept called Hedonic Treadmill, we tend to return to our baseline state of happiness even after a major change in our life i.e. we get back to where we started pretty quickly. So getting a lot of money, buying a new gadget, getting a promotion etc apparently gives us only a short spike in happiness. What’s your experience with your new phone Rahul?‘ ‘True bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ’After the initial excitement, I feel the same as I did with my old phone.’ ‘Wow,’ said Rinku. ‘‘Is it true for negativ

How We Fool Ourselves

 ‘Rahul,’ said Rinku onZoom . ‘Did you get that internship you applied for?’ ‘No,’ said Rahul. ‘Arush got it. I wasn’t interested in it anyway. Went for the experience.’ ‘But Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘It was your dream company. You were really keen on it.’ ‘Nah,’said Rahul. ‘I realised I don’t like that company. Too high profile. I’d like to work in a smaller company where I get seen. I’m glad I didn’t get it.’ ‘Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘You seem to be experiencing Cognitive Dissonance. We tend to reinterpret things that don’t go in our favour to justify ourselves. Remember the story of the fox and the sour grapes?’ ‘Bhaiyya it’s not about sour grapes,’said Rahul. ‘Anyway, what’s the harm?’ ‘The harm is that we could make a habit of reinterpreting things to justify our failures or limitations and miss out on what’s good for us,’ said Rakesh. ‘In this case Rahul,if you hadn’t reinterpreted the story, you could have realised that Arush had a better set of skills than you, which you co

How To Avoid Getting Conned!

 ‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rahul on their Zoom meeting. ‘Rinku and I visited this shop where they offered her a free sample of chocolate. In return she bought a ton of stuff she didn’t really want simply because of that free sample. She always gets conned like this.’ ‘Ah, Reciprocity,’ said Rakesh. ‘There are many such errors we make routinely that are listed in a book by Rolf Dobelli called ‘The Art of Thinking Clearly’. In Reciprocity for example, we feel obliged to repay a perceived debt and end up paying up a lot more in return for a small gesture. Consider this. A person wishes you daily for a year. One day he asks you for a loan. You feel he’s nice,don’t want to hurt him,give him the money and he disappears with the money.We’re set up, hope against our better judgement and lose big. People who understand human tendencies use such knowledge to influence our behaviours.’ ‘Wow,’ said Rinku. ‘What other such errors do we make bhaiyya? You could save me a lot of money.’ ‘The most common t

How Groups Influence Our Decision Making

 ' Bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Rahul’s part of a WhatsApp group with strong political views. I know Rahul doesn’t subscribe to their views buthe gets influenced.’ ‘Áh,’said Rakesh. ‘Groups influence our decisions more than we think, many times with serious consequences.’ ‘But bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘Our group is quite large and knowledgeable. They cannot all be wrong.’ ‘Be aware ofSocial Proof bias or Groupthink bias Rahul,’said Rakesh.‘The more people that believe in an idea, the better we tend to believe the idea is.We go with consensus even thoughwe may feel differentlybecause we feel so many smart people cannot be wrong. But even if a million people say something foolish, it’s still foolish. It’s better to speak our mind and question the assumptions in our own interests. No point committing suicide just because the group is.’ ‘But why do we believe information without verifying facts bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku. ‘Why do even smart people believe lies?’ ‘There’s something called

How Confirmation Bias Can Influence Your Decisions

 ‘Bhaiyya, we’re electing a secretary for our literature club,’ said Rinku. ‘It’s between Mansi and Harsh.’ ‘Í’ve decided who I am voting for,’ said Rahul. ‘Mansi’s very good. She reads a lot of books and participates in literary events.’ ‘Rahul, reading books and participating in literary events does not make her a good secretary,’said Rinku. ‘The other day we had to cancel a reading she was supposed to organise remember? Don’t forget she has no organising experience. On the other hand Harsh conducted the last three literary events excellently and has been on the Lit club committee. You cannot ignore that.’ ‘But Mansihas great ideas,’ said Rahul. ‘And good contacts. Her Facebook posts have quotes and pictures offamous poets and writers she met at the Literary Festival last year.’ ‘You’re saying any random thing to support Mansi,’ said Rinku. ‘That’s not how you decide.’ ‘The more I seeher social media profiles, the more I think she is the right choice,’ said Rahul. ‘The stuf