Confusing Pride with Ego

 ‘Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘Akanksha’s paintings are really good na?’

‘Yes,’ said Rahul. ‘But she’s full of herself.  Not sure if it’s pride in her work or ego.’

‘I get confused too,’ said Rinku. ‘Sometimes when I do good work I hold myself back from appreciating myself thinking I should not be proud because it leads to a swollen head, pride comes before a fall etc etc. Should we take pride in our work or not bhaiyya?’

‘Let’s first differentiate between healthy pride and unhealthy ego,’ said Rakesh. ‘Taking pride in ourselves or our work simply means we’re proud of what we are and what we have achieved and are still open to learn and grow. It indicates a respectful relationship with ourselves and our work where we express satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment for having done our best. It’s a realistic acknowledgement and celebration of us, our capabilities and achievements.’ 

‘Hmm, and how’s ego different bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.

‘Ego is an insecure reaction that makes us feel superior to others the moment we perceive a slight advantage,’ said Rakesh. ‘We have an inflated and delusional opinion of ourselves, become arrogant, compare, demean others and go into a self-admiration, self-important mode. The kind of stuff that leads to a fall.’

‘But what’s wrong in thinking we’re the best bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.

‘Having a good self-image and self-esteem is important for our growth Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘But when we become delusional and arrogant and fool ourselves into thinking it’s healthy self-respect etc we’re in trouble. Once our ego comes in the way of receiving feedback and our learning and growth stops, we’re heading downward.’

‘But how to differentiate between self-esteem and ego bhaiyya?’ said Rinku. ‘Seems like a thin line.’

‘Self-love, self-esteem and self-respect come from being compassionate and supportive of yourself, and in turn, of others,’ said Rakesh. ‘Ego comes from a harsh, insecure space. Pride is about respecting ourselves as we are, being inclusive, staying humble and being open to growth. Ego hurts easily, withdraws, separates, is arrogant and stagnates. Pride is a comma, ego is a full stop.’

‘Hmm, so we can take pride in ourselves and talk about our work right bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.

‘Yes,’ said Rakesh. ‘Knowing where we are, what we have achieved and where we have to go keeps us honest in our journey. It’s our pride that holds us up, keeps our self-esteem intact as we grow. You should be proud of yourself as you are, acknowledge, talk about and promote your work too; but watch out for your ego.’

‘Thanks bhaiyya,’ said Rakesh. ‘I will be proud of myself, not egotisic.’

Pro tip: Be proud of what you are and what you do in a self-respecting way that aids your growth. Be wary of becoming arrogant and egotistic which can stagnate your growth.

 

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