Don’t Make Assumptions, Don’t Complicate Life

 Rahul logged on to the Zoom call.

‘Bhaiyya I’ve been waiting all day for Rinku to send me an important file and she hasn’t,’ he said. ‘She always does this. I can never trust her.’

‘Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘Don’t assume. Maybe she’s busy.’

‘She always has work that’s more important than me,’ fumed Rahul.

‘Why don’t you call?’ said Rakesh. ‘You’ll know what happened.’

‘Why should I?’ said Rahul. ‘It’s her fault. Let her call.’

‘Let me tell you a story,’ said Rakesh. ‘A man’s travelling alone late at night in the countryside when his car has a flat tire. He gets down to change the tire and realizes he has no jack.’

‘Whoa!’ said Rahul.

‘He looks around and sees a light in the distance,’ said Rakesh. ‘He’s elated. He thinks – ‘I can ask those nice people for a jack, change the tire and go home’. As he starts walking happily towards the house he thinks–‘I hope he won’t be upset at being woken upso late at night’.After walking some more he thinks again –‘But why shouldhe get angry when all I wanted was a jack?’Now he’s angry at the injustice done to him. He starts thinkinghow insensitive and rude people can be.’

‘And then?’ asked Rahul.

‘As he nears the door he thinks – ‘what if the farmer slams the door without even listening to me,’ said Rakesh. ‘All I wanted was a jack and this is how he treats me?’ By now he’s at the door ringing the bell angrily. Footsteps approach.’

‘What next?’ asked Rahul.

‘A pleasant old farmer opens the door and says–‘Good evening, what can I do for you?’ said Rakesh. ‘Before he can finish, our man blurts out angrily – ‘I don’t want your stupid jack you rude man. You can keep it.’And stomps off.’

‘What?’ said Rahul. ‘But the poor guy didn’t even say anything.’

‘Yes,’ said Rakesh. ‘That’s how assumptions can mess up our lives Rahul. We create our own ‘victim’ stories in our head,believe them to be the truth and defend them. We misinterpret, misunderstand and add to our own drama just to be ‘right’ or to feel like a ‘victim’. Others don’t even know what we’re thinking.’

‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘Rinkujust messaged saying that she left the file, her phone and laptop with her sister at home. If I had called I’d have got my file by now. Making baseless assumptions simply complicates our life.’

‘Ask for your file now,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘Without making more assumptions.’

Pro Tip: Most of our problems are assumed, imagined and created by us. If you want a happy, easy life, just stop making assumptions.

 

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