Instantly Delay Gratification!

 ‘Bhaiyya, why do people say ‘enjoy what you’re doing’ and when we’re having fun, they stop us?’ asked Rahul. ‘Is there a difference?’

‘Good q,’ said Rakesh. ‘To understand the difference between fun and enjoyment, we must differentiate between instant gratification and delayed gratification. Fun activities give us instant gratification, are easy, pleasurable and can be addictive. Popular examples being - social media, internet, online shopping, binge watching, video games and such. Right?’

‘Right,’ said Rinku. ‘Super fun.’

‘They’re fun because they’re easy and instant,’ said Rakesh. ‘The bad news is they don’t grow us nor are they really enjoyable. After the instant high of getting likes on social media, we feel empty inside, right?’

‘So how can we be happy?’ asked Rahul, dejected. ‘If we can’t have fun?’

‘You can, by choosing activities that challenge you and stretch you to the limit in pursuit of accomplishing something worthwhile,’ said Rakesh. ‘Activities that need you to delay gratification for a lasting sense of achievement, satisfaction, pride and joy, when you achieve those goals. There’s a famous study by Stanford University where it was found that children who waited longer to get a bigger reward were way more successful in life. Delaying gratification they found was critical to success.’

‘That doesn’t sound like fun bhaiyya,’ said Rahul.

‘On the contrary, the process of stretching and growing, immersing yourself with total involvement into a challenging job, is immensely enjoyable as we know Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘True enjoyment they say is characterized by forward movement, a sense of novelty and accomplishment. It’s the satisfying high of having achieved something significant. A happy side effect is that you also achieve big health, relationship, financial, expertise goals which contribute to your happiness surely.’

‘A classic standoff awaits us then - instant gratification versus delayed gratification,’ said Rinku. ‘Short-term gains with no long-term benefits versus short-term pain and long-term gains. Choose between topping exams and binge watching Rahul. Now!’

‘Topping exams,’ said Rahul. ‘No brainer. But can’t we have both?’

‘You tell me,’ said Rakesh.

‘Hmm,’ said Rinku. ‘We could delay gratification and instead immerse ourselves into this worthwhile, goal-oriented work that grows us first, since these activities require more concentration and energy.’

‘And after completing these hard, monotonous routines specifically for their clear, long-term benefits,’ said Rahul. ‘We can reward ourselves by engaging in fun activities.’

‘Perfect,’ said Rakesh. ‘Enjoy the tough work first and then recharge with fun activities. I’d suggest you choose leisure activities that you actually experience - not simply watch.  That’s the formula for long lasting happiness and success.’

‘Done bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Filter coffee, not instant coffee, from now on.’

Pro Tip: You derive long-term happiness by delaying gratification and investing in growth-oriented activities. Minimise activities that seek instant gratification because they’re addictive and distract you from deeply enjoyable, growth-oriented work.