Setbacks Are Commas – Come Back And End On a High

 ‘Rinku,’ asked Rakesh. ‘How’s your music going?’

‘Theek thaak bhaiyya,’ said RInku. ‘Sara replaced me on the college team. We started as equals but now she’s shot up a few levels while my performance’s slipping. I’m thinking of quitting.’

‘Never quit on a low Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘What happened?’

‘Talent,’ said Rahul. ‘God’s gift. A winners versus losers story bhaiyya.’

‘Rahul’s right,’ said Rinku. ‘I don’t have what it takes.’

‘But Sara has bad days too surely?’ asked Rakesh. ‘How come she’s up there?’

‘Her bad days are rare bhaiyya while mine are frequent,’ said Rinku. ‘Guess I’m only this good.’

‘Wrong conclusion Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘It’s not about winners or talent or luck.’

‘Then what bhaiyya’ said Rinku.

‘There are no separate compartments for winners and losers,’ said Rakesh. ‘We’re all in the same compartment - on a continuum of zero to hundred. When we don’t perform well we hit bottom, and when we do well we rise up. We swing back and forth, rising, slipping. With time and practice, we get better, make fewer mistakes and touch our highest point on the scale. But touching our high point is no guarantee that we’ll stay there forever.’

‘I confess that I did relax after making the team,’ said Rinku. ‘And when my performance slipped, I didn’t understand why.’

‘When your performance slips, it means you’re not doing something you were doing right earlier,’ said Rakesh. ‘Small errors creep in – technical errors, quantity and quality of practice, coaching inputs, your thinking – and your performance gradually sinks. This is the critical point where some come back while others fall off.’

‘What happens bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.

‘When our performance slips, we’ve two choices,’ said Rakesh. ‘One is to accept that something’s wrong, seek help, learn from failure, correct mistakes, and come back as better players. The second is to take failure personally, as a final judgment, label ourselves as losers and quit. We’re not born champions or losers; just that some continuously improve and learn, while others give up. Over time, the ones who come back grow significantly.’

 ‘So winners aren’t different?’ asked RInku. ‘They just worked harder?

‘Imagine we’re climbing a hill,’ said Rakesh. ‘The ones who reached the top are there because they did the work - not because of talent or luck. They prepared well, handled setbacks and made it. The guys at the bottom can get there too if they want.’

‘Are you saying I should come back into the team bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.

‘As a principle, always exit on a high, never on a low,’ said Rakesh. ‘Be it a practice session, a performance, a speech, a relationship, your music experience –how you end matters. End on a high.’

‘Thanks bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘I’m ending with a sweet tea now.’

Pro Tip: Setbacks are commas; not full stops. Learn from setbacks, correct mistakes and improve. Never exit on a low. Come back and end on a high always.

 

Exercise: Ask your students how many are giving up on things because they are not doing well in one class or some minor incident. Once they have identified the things they have given up, or planning to give up because of one low, ask them to go back, and come out of it on a high. Share.

You can devise a quick game between two people and ask the one who lost to quit after one loss. Register their feelings. Ask them to go back and end on a winning note, or high note. Register their feelings both towards themselves and the game.