The World Not Treating You Well? - Are You Treating Yourself Well?

  ‘Bhaiyya, Rinku and I visited a restaurant yesterday,’ said Rahul. ‘The waiters treated her like she is very important. But they didn’t treat me like that.’

‘Interesting,’ said Rakesh. ‘Do you always feel you’re treated indifferently?’

‘Yes bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I don’t like it.’

‘How’d you like to be treated?’ asked Rakesh.

‘With more respect and seriousness surely,’ said Rahul. ‘I feel people don’t take me seriously enough. How can I change that bhaiyya? Should I tell them to treat me more seriously?’

‘No Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘You can’t demand respect and love. You must earn it. The key lies in how you’re treating yourself.’

‘Treat myself?’ asked Rahul puzzled. ‘With a pizza or something?’

‘Not a bad idea actually,’ said Rakesh. ‘But what I meant was this - do you treat yourself with respect and seriousness? How do you treat yourself?’

‘Never thought of it bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘Never treated myself as anything different.’

‘No wonder everyone treats you indifferently,’ said Rakesh. ‘If you want others to treat you with respect and seriousness, start treating yourself like that first.’

‘How do I do it bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul. ‘I have no clue.’

‘Let’s ask Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘How Rinku?’

Rinku smiled.

‘Bhaiyya, I treat myself like I’m very special,’ she said. ‘Like I deserve it.’

‘I still don’t get it,’ said Rahul. ‘How should I behave?’

‘Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘How would you behave if you went out with someone special on a date?’

‘Hmm, I’d dress well, groom myself, buy a nice gift,’ said Rahul. ‘Do things that make them happy, go to nice places, and make them feel special.’

‘Great,’ said Rinku. ‘Do all those things for yourself now. That’s all.’

‘Whoa!’ said Rahul.  ‘I can do that once in a while – not all the time. It’s too superficial.’

‘Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘If you can’t treat yourself like that all the time, how do you expect others to treat you well?’

‘But bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘If I start treating myself well and focusing on myself, I might lose my friends. They’ll think I’m being snooty or pricey.’

‘Rahul, first understand you don’t have to treat yourself badly or make yourself lesser to win other people’s approval,’ said Rakesh. ‘Instead, earn their respect by treating yourself best. Treat yourself like you’re the most special person in your life and watch things change. In all your choices – food, clothes, experiences- give yourself the best you can. That’s what a treat is right?’

‘Yes bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I’m treating myself to a milk shake and a sandwich today. I’ve always wanted to but was waiting for a special occasion. This is special enough an occasion – knowing I’m the most special person for me.’

‘That’s right,’ said Rakesh. ‘Make it three chotu. Let’s treat ourselves – and well.’

Pro Tip: Others will treat you based on how your treat yourself. If you want to be treated well by others, treat yourself well first. Give yourself a treat.

 

Exercise: Take a poll - how many students feel they are not being treated by others. Ask them how they are treating themselves. Show them how others treat us depending on the way we treat ourselves. Have them come up with a plan to treat themselves well. A role play could help in class too.

 

 

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