What’s the Difference between Criticism and Feedback?

‘Bhaiyya,’ saidRinku on their Zoom call. ‘My athletics coach told me I’m too slow. I don’t know how to react.’

‘Yes Bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘We know feedback’s important for growth. But how do we differentiate between destructive criticism and constructive feedback?’

‘Good q,’ said Rakesh. ‘Criticism kills the spirit. While constructive feedback transforms a person. There is a thin line separating the two.’

‘What’s the difference bhaiyya?’ said Rinku.

‘The difference simply lies in how you give and receive feedback,’ said Rakesh. ‘If you’re growth-oriented and are committed to excel,even the harshest criticism can be taken as feedback. If you’re insecure, even a compliment sounds like criticism and you stay stuck.’

‘How do wegive feedback effectivelybhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.

‘If your feedback has more damaging consequences than improvements, you’re not giving your critique well,’ said Rakesh. ‘A typical error people make when they give feedback is to focus exclusively on what’s wrong which makes the other person feel like you’re tearing their entire effort down. One way to give negative feedback is to first focus on the parts that are good, and then point out areas to improve with specific examplesand perhaps, a solution.The idea is to help them improve, not bring them down. If the other person is receiving your feedbackinstead of resisting it, then you’re on track.’

‘Makes sense,’ said Rinku. ‘And how should we receivenegative feedback and criticismbhaiyya?’

‘By not taking things personally,’ said Rakesh. ‘Then we can receive criticism and negative feedback objectively. Criticism seems like a personal attackwhen we’re insecure about ourselves. But if we understand that it is not about us but another individual’s opinion about an act of ours, wecan deal objectively with it, analysethe truth in it and make necessary changes for improvement if required.When we take it personally, we throw the entire message out, good and bad. The measure of how well you’re receiving feedback is in how objectively you’re able to sift through painful feedback to correct yourself instead of defending and justifying yourself.’

‘So it’sabout how we take it, right bhaiyya?’ said Rahul.

‘Yes,’ said Rakesh. ‘Take the most devastating criticism in the right spirit and use it foryour growth, or take the gentlest, well-intentioned suggestion as a major criticism and stay stuck. By being aware and using criticism and feedback to grow, we can grow faster on the path of excellence. The choice is ours.’

Pro Tip: The difference between criticism and feedback is how we take it. If we do not take it personally, the worst criticism can be used as growth-oriented feedback to progress rapidly. We can learn from everyone.

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