Why The Smartest Are Not Always Successful

 Bhaiyya, how come the smartest people aren’t always successful?’ said Rinku.

‘Rinku, Intelligence Quotient (IQ) and Expertise were considered critical for success earlier,’ said Rakesh. ‘However emotions can hijack thinking capacity, affect decision-making and behavior, and consequently, the results. You may be ‘smart’, and yet, if you cannot manage yourself and others, you’ll find it difficult to succeed.  Daniel Goleman, author of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ says that two thirds of competencies required for success pertain to emotional intelligence. A person who can manage emotions intelligently has a clear advantage over ‘smarter’ peers.’

‘Wow,’ said Rahul. ‘How can I improve my emotional intelligence bhaiyya?’

‘Emotional Intelligence comprises of personal and social competencies,’ said Rakesh. ‘Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation are personal, while empathy and social skills are social competencies. Anyone can practice these skills and improve their EI.’

‘What’re these competencies about?’ said Rinku.

‘Let’s look at our personal competencies first,’ said Rakesh. ‘Self-awareness is our ability to recognize and identify emotions as they rise and understand their effect on our behavior. Self-regulation is our ability to manage our disruptive impulses, handling pressure, adapting. Motivation is our initiative, optimism and drive to achieve our goals in the face of setbacks.’

‘Interesting,’ said Rinku. ‘And social competency?’

‘Social competency is measured on empathy and social skills,’ said Rakesh. ‘Empathy, our ability to understand others’ feelings, said and unsaid, helps us build deep, trusting connections. Empathic people are genuinely interested in others, listen, ask questions, help them express and grow. Social skills are our ability to lead and influence others by understanding and managing group emotions, handling conflict and enabling cooperation between diverse people to achieve common goals. However brilliant you are, you need others to succeed.’

‘So, our personal competencies help us manage our internal states and social competencies help us to build and manage external relationships,’ said Rinku. ‘Together they give us a significant advantage.’

‘Bhaiyya, what should I work on immediately?’ asked Rahul.

‘Initiative, empathy, adaptability and influence are considered key skills for success,’ said Rakesh. ‘Start there.’

‘I’ll begin with identifying emotions and managing my reactions,’ said Rinku. ‘How to go about it bhaiyya?’

 ‘Try the ‘stop lights’ technique Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘At red, when you sense emotion rising, stop, calm down. At yellow, verbalise the problem and your feelings, set positive goal, think options and consequences. At green, act on the best plan. It’s highly effective to manage emotions.’

‘Thanks bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘This has been very insightful. I can see how EI connects us to ourselves and the world, and improves our quality of life.’

‘Absolutely,’ said Rahul. ‘I’m sensing an impulsive desire for chai now.’

Pro tip: Emotional Intelligence is a key factor in your success. Work on your personal and social emotional competencies to gain an advantage in your career and your relationship with the world.