Because – It Helps

 ‘Bhaiyya, Rahul’s in trouble,’ said Rinku. ‘Our Hindi lecturer told him to prepare her presentation. Rahul said he can’t. Now she’s upset.’

‘Yes bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I’ve work to do. Why’s she forcing her work on us? I’d rather not be in her good books than do her work like Rinku did. Rinku was up all night preparing that presentation as she didn’t want to offend our lecturer.’

‘Interesting situation,’ said Rakesh. ‘And one we face often. Let’s do a role play and see if we can get out of this situation without upsetting your lecturer. Rinku, ask me to prepare that presentation.’

‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Can you make my presentation?’

‘No,’ said Rakesh bluntly.

Rinku was taken aback. Rakesh and Rahul laughed.

‘You got offended didn’t you?’ said Rakesh. ‘And you’ll hold that against me. Ok, ask again.’

‘Bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Can you make my presentation?’

‘Sorry Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘I can’t because I’m busy. Now?’

‘Much better,’ said Rinku. ‘I feel you’ve got a reason for refusing, so it’s ok. I won’t hold it against you.’

‘That’s the power of the magic word ‘Because’ fellows,’ said Rakesh. ‘In a famous study called the Copy Machine study done by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer, people standing in line at a copy machine allowed others to cut the line 94% of the time simply ‘because’ they said they had urgent work. What’s more fascinating is this - people allowed others to cut the line 93% of the time ‘because’ they said they wanted to make copies! Compare these high success rates to a 60% success rate when no reason was given to go ahead and you can understand how human behavior works.’

‘Wow,’ said Rinku. ‘So giving any reason makes others view us with more tolerance and benevolence.’

‘Yes,’ said Rakesh. ‘It appears that human behavior is driven by reasons; whether the reasons are logical or irrational doesn’t seem to matter. So, by using a simple ‘because’, we can influence others, save delicate situations like the one with your lecturer and even get favours. When we give reasons and justify our behavior, it gives everyone a face-saving exit, so they’re more likely to consider us favorably.’

‘But bhaiyya,’ said Rinku, looking at Rahul. ‘I feel some people may use it to lie and shirk work.’

‘You don’t even need to lie,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘The study proves that you can give the correct reason, however irrational, and it still works 93% of the time. Even a reason like - ‘because I didn’t feel like it’ - makes the other person feel less threatened and more tolerant.’

‘Thanks bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘Because…’

Pro Tip: Using the magic word ‘because’ and providing a reason, influences others behaviors favorably towards you. Giving a reason that explains or justifies your actions eases unwanted stress in relationships and generally works in your favour.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Leadership Series - The Window and Mirror Approach

 ‘I’m upset with our Students Union President Ankita,’ said Rinku. ‘She’s taken all credit for the work I did for the student festival.’ ‘True,’ said Rahul. ‘She takes credit when go things well even if she hasn’t done anything and blames others when things go wrong. Reminds me of today’s politicians. No responsibility, only credit.’ ‘But that cannot be the right way to lead right?’ asked Rinku. ‘You’re right,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most leaders take all credit so they can project a larger than life image of themselves. On the other hand they bring others down by misinterpreting facts so they look better In comparison. But it’s an insecure way of leading. A good leader shares credit with the team and takes responsibility when things go wrong.’   ‘What’s the right way then bhaiyya?’ asked rinku. ‘Taking credit and blaming others seems to be the popular modus operandi.’ ‘Yes,’ smiled Rakesh. ‘It is paradoxical – but as we all know, a leader can lead well only when she is not a...
Read more

The Leadership Series - The Who of Leadership - People Represent Potential

 ‘So, what’s next?’ said Rinku looking at her notebook. ‘We’re all set to go – goals, roles, vision all in place.’ ‘Great,’ said Rahul. ‘’Now I hopeour team members do their best.’ ‘This is the most important aspect of your leadership,’ said Rakesh laughing. ‘People management. So don’t hope. How you manage people becomes the biggest diffrentiator for the leader.’ ‘Why bhaiyya? Won’t people deliver according to their capabilities?’asked Rinku. ‘No Rinku,’said Rakesh. ‘People are not like machines. They don’t deliver one standard. If you handle a person right she will go way beyond what sheis required to do. On the other hand, if you do not know how to handle them,people will work without any interest and enthusiasm. You may have the best systems and recruited the best resources, but if you do not know how to handle people on your side, your effort will fall flat.’ ‘That’s interesting?’ said Rinku. ‘So if they are handled right, people deliver much more than they normally ...
Read more

Paying Attention Pays

 ‘Bhaiyya, I invited my friends for a zoom party,’ said Rahul. ‘Those fools didn’t show up. I’m very upset.’ ‘No one came?’ asked Rakesh. ‘Rinku, Ali and Kapil came of course,’ said Rahul. ‘But I’m really upset with the others.’‘Rahul, do you realise this is a classic way to stay unhappy for no reason,’ asked Rakesh. ‘What bhaiyya?’ said Rahul. ‘Your attention is a precious resource Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘How you use it can make you happy or unhappy, succeed or fail.’ ‘How does it work bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku. ‘It’s simple Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘We can focus our attention on what we have and be happy or focus our attention on what we don’t have and stay unhappy. Most of us focus on what’s not there which makes us, and consequently others around us, unhappy. For example, Rahul, you should ask Rinku how she felt about the party.’ ‘Oh,’ smiled Rinku. ‘I felt pretty useless when Rahul ignored me and was more concerned about the others who didn’t show up. I wondered why I showed u...
Read more