Handling Fear

‘I feel this heaviness in me these days,’said Rinku. ‘Don’t feel like doing anything.’

‘We all feel it Rinku,’’ said Rakesh.’It’s fear. We hear about the COVID situation outside and don’t know how to cope with it. It paralyses us.’

‘But we’re staying home safe no?’ said Rahul. ‘Why this heaviness then?’

‘There are three Levels of fear,’said Rakesh. ‘This isLevel 3 fear, where we feel we cannot handle things and that makes us feel heavy and paralysed. We imagine the worst and feel incapable and helpless about it.’

‘How to deal with it bhaiyya?’asked Rinku. 

‘First, stop terrorising yourself by imagining extreme situations,’ said Rakesh. ‘Secondly, trust your capabilities to handle whatever comes up. Take it as it comes, and at each stage trust your capabilities to handle it. Don’t worry about situations that haven’t arrived yet. Like they say, worrying is like wishing for things you don’t want.’

‘But how to stop worrying bhaiyya?’asked Rinku. ‘We hear so many dreadful stories around us.’

‘Use the Circle of Control concept,’ said Rakesh. ‘You see, there are things we can control, things we can influence and things we’re concerned about. Things we control are those we have direct control over, things we influence are those we have indirect control over and things that concern us are things we have little control over. This could help.’

‘I’ll stay with things I can control,’ said Rahul. ‘Build my immunity, eat well, rest, hydrate, exercise, social distance, stay home, mask, wash hands.Also control what I consume like news, who I interact with. I’ll keep off sources that add to fear.’

‘And in the circle of influence we can influence others,’ said Rinku. ‘Behaving responsibly, keeping others in our circle of influence in good space, helping wherever possible, not sharing morbid, fearful and alarmist information.’

‘And keep off the circle of concern for now,’ said Rakesh. ‘The more time we spend in things out of our control, the more helpless and fearful we feel.So stay away from things you can’t control like distant news, fearful predictions, and distressing stories. Make the best of what’s in your power, surrender to what you can’t control and it as it comes.’

‘But bhaiyya,’said Rahul. ‘We can’t cut off all information na?’

‘True,’ said Rakesh. ‘We’ve to face our fear to overcome it. But let’s face it only when it is real, here and now. Until then build capability - join like-minded groups, meditate, do breathing practices. Stay present and process the fear rationally. And mostly, choose what’s light - people, content - what makes you laugh.’

‘Thanks bhaiyya,’said Rahul. ‘I’ll stay present and take it as it comes.’

Pro Tip: To handle fear, stay present. Don’t imagine situations you cannot handle and terrorise yourself. Cut out unnecessary, scary news and take the rest as it comes.’


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