Paying Attention Pays

 ‘Bhaiyya, I invited my friends for a zoom party,’ said Rahul. ‘Those fools didn’t show up. I’m very upset.’

‘No one came?’ asked Rakesh. ‘Rinku, Ali and Kapil came of course,’ said Rahul. ‘But I’m really upset with the others.’‘Rahul, do you realise this is a classic way to stay unhappy for no reason,’ asked Rakesh.

‘What bhaiyya?’ said Rahul. ‘Your attention is a precious resource Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘How you use it can make you happy or unhappy, succeed or fail.’

‘How does it work bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.

‘It’s simple Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘We can focus our attention on what we have and be happy or focus our attention on what we don’t have and stay unhappy. Most of us focus on what’s not there which makes us, and consequently others around us, unhappy. For example, Rahul, you should ask Rinku how she felt about the party.’

‘Oh,’ smiled Rinku. ‘I felt pretty useless when Rahul ignored me and was more concerned about the others who didn’t show up. I wondered why I showed up at all. And in the end none of us had a good time with Rahul getting upset.’

‘I’m sorry Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just upset at them.’

‘That’s what happens when we get this simple process wrong Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘Instead of having a good time with those who showed up, we could end up losing them since you didn’t treat them well. Now no one’s happy including you. Does that make any sense?’

Rahul nodded sheepishly.

‘Be it success, money, loving relationships, health or whatever, first focus on what you have and grow it instead of cribbing about what you don’t have,’ said Rakesh. Remember, what we focus on grows.’

 ‘That’s the recipe for happiness then,’ said Rinku. ‘To make the best of what we have. Everyone can do it. Wonder why we keep looking for what’s not there and messing up what we have. But how do we know we’re doing it right bhaiyya?’

‘ A good indication of where our focus is can be had by being aware of how we’re feeling – happy or unhappy – while doing it,’ smiled Rakesh. ‘If you’re feeling happy, your attention is on the right thing. Else, change your focus immediately.’

‘I get it bhaiyya,’ said Rahul. ‘I’m totally focused on what we three are sharing now so it will grow into a happy experience for all. Life’s pretty simple when we look at it like that.’

Pro Tip: What you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what makes you happy. When you focus on what’s not there, you’ll lose what you already have.


 

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